Shadowed Love
by DeeNee6
Summary: This story details how everything came to be with Mello, Near and Matt at Wammy's House before Mello and Near were introduced into the Death Note series. Please note that this isn't the real story of how everything came to be, it is just another Death Note FanFiction. It starts off as MelloxNear, but will eventually progress to be MelloxMatt. Better then the summary
1. Chapter 1

**Alright everyone, this is my new story! **

**It details how everything came to be with Mello, Near and Matt at Wammy's House before Mello and Near were introduced into the Death Note series. The details will include Mello's anger towards Near, and Near's emotionless state. And others, but I won't tell you those, you'll have to wait for then.**

****Please note that this isn't the real story of how everything came to be, it is just another Death Note FanFiction****

**It starts off as MelloxNear, but will eventually progress to be MelloxMatt. But thats all the secrets I is telling! If you want to know more, I guess you're just going to have to read it, aren't you? (Gee, what a shame? XD)**

**Don't like it, don't read it. It's as simple as that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. But if I did... *stares off into space, dreaming of all the possibilities***

* * *

_Chapter One: Arrival_

"Morning, Near," I smile at my best friend cheerfully, as I walk down the corridor towards the breakfast hall.

"Hey, Mello," he replies.

Life at Wammy's House isn't ideal I guess, but it's better then the life I used to have. I have friends here - well, one friend, and we are closer then that anyway.

"I take it you had a goodnight's sleep?" Near asks me.

"Of course I did," I reply a little sheepishly, but grin all the same.

We don't talk about our relationship in public, because nobody knows we are even _in_ a relationship. The people here are smart enough that they have probably guessed by now, but even then, we don't take the risk.

On the surface, Near and I are best friends. We do everything together, and we are relatively at the same level of smartness. Although Near usually beats me on the tests by like 0.1%, I don't really care. Beating Near isn't something I concern myself with.

Behind closed doors, myself and Near are somewhat... involved. We have both excepted the fact that we are gay. I know I love Near, and I'm fairly sure he feels the same way as me, but then who really knows what goes on under that crop of beautiful white hair on his head? After all these years, the mind of Near is still a mystery to me.

But like I said, I'm fairly sure Near loves me just as much as I love him. He's all but proved it on many occasions.

We enter the breakfast hall, take our seats, and under the table where no one can see, clutch our hands together.

I look at him, and he looks at me. He smiles, and I pretty much melt.

"Man, that test was so easy, it's not funny!" I complain to Near as I plonk myself down on my bed.

"Tell me about it. I bet I'll beat you again though..." he teases, and lies down next to me.

Near and I actually are supposed to be in separate rooms next door to each other. But we spend time with each other in one of the rooms until lights out. And then when lights go out and everyone thinks we're asleep, he creeps back into my room and... well we won't go into that.

"Pfft, yeah right. I'm totally going to top you this time, you'll see," I tease right back. I know he's joking. Neither of us cares if one beats the other. But for some reason he always beats me. That, or we draw.

I turn on my side and face him. Near is still staring up at the roof. I reach out a hand and start playing with his hair.

He turns over to face me, but I don't move my hand away and so it ends up moving across his cheek and over his nose. I move to take it away, but at the last second, Near grabs it and kisses it.

His lips on my skin... man, when I first experienced it I didn't think it could get any better.

Except it did.

At the same time, we sat up and leaned in towards each other. Our lips meet and fuse together. My hand reaches up and grabs a fist full of his hair, pulling him closer to me. His hand presses against the small of my back, making me bow to him. But I don't mind.

I let my mind go blank to just enjoy the sensation of Near and me. Together.

Near nurtures something in me. I don't know what it is. It's not lust - it's way deeper then that.

Suddenly, he flips me over and then I'm on my back, and he's on top of me. I stare into his eyes and see the need thats there. I know what he wants. And I am more then happy to oblige.

He brings his lips down and relaxes into my embrace.

The next morning, Near has to creep back into his room at the crack of dawn before we're expected to go down to the breakfast hall. I wish we could be more open about our relationship sometimes, but Near doesn't think it's a good idea. People could see it as a threat to their chances of becoming the next L - not that any of these hopeless fools have a chance anyway. They might think we have teamed up for strategy. But to be honest, when I first admitted to Near that I was gay and had feelings for him, that was the furtherest thing from my mind.

_I approached Near's door slowly, a little nervous, and knocked._

_"Come in," he confirmed. I took several steps in. He was making a dice tower. "Oh hi, Mello. What can I do for you?"_

_"Um... I'm not sure. I guess... gee, this is awkward." Near was looking up at me with a puzzled yet adorable expression._

_"Are you okay?" he asked, a little worried._

_"Yeah... I'm fine, Near. I'm just going to go now. Sorry for troubling you." I turned to leave, but Near had gotten up and ran over to the door, blocking my exit._

_"You aren't fine, I can see it in your eyes. What's wrong Mello?" he asked, really worried now._

_"Nothing you need to worry about," I answered quickly._

_"Mello, you're my best friend. Of course it's something I need to worry about. If you are in trouble, or you're hurt..."_

_"No! It's nothing really like that!" I did regret saying that so harshly, because for a second Near's face was a little wounded._

_"Well, what is it then?" He asked after he had recovered._

_"It's none of your concern," I tried again._

_"Don't give me that bullshit Mello, you wouldn't be here if that were true."_

_"Look, will you let me leave? I was wrong to come here."_

_"I'm not letting you go until you explain to me what's up. Wrong or not, you did come here and that's why I want to know."_

_Near could be so stubborn sometimes. And Near being stubborn pissed me off._

_"Look, I'm gay alright? There, it's out, can I go now?" I reeled._

_He blinked, taken aback. I instantly regretted the way I said it, not to mention the fact that I'd said it at all._

_But nevertheless, Near stepped aside, realising I needed space. I stormed out into my room, slammed my door shut and then sank against it._

_What had I done?_

These days I smiled at that memory. I was so silly back then, so blind.

_I had been sulking in my room, on my bed, for about half an hour when someone knocked on the door._

_"Near, if that's you, get lost," I growled, but I was really annoyed at how pathetic my voice sounded._

_He ignored me, and came into the room anyway._

_I looked up._

_"I told you to leave me alone," I mumbled._

_"And the tone in your voice told me otherwise, Mello. What's the matter?"_

_"Like you would care."_

_He came over and sat on the edge of my bed._

_"Believe it or not, Mello, I do actually care about you. You're my friend."_

_"You're mine too. Which is why I don't want to tell you."_

_"What do you mean by that?"_

_"If I tell you it'd ruin our friendship." I inwardly cursed. Of course Near would make the connection, he wasn't not the second in line to L for nothing._

_"You have feelings for me?" he asked, curiously._

_"Something like that," I mumbled, expecting the worst. I expected him to call me names, scream at me, reject me, and push me out onto my own._

_But none of that happened._

_What did happen, I didn't expect._

_Near moved over beside me, and hesitantly kissed me. I was really shocked - I didn't know what to do._

_I broke the kiss and moved as far as I could from him. But I regretted it, because he looked so hurt._

_"I'm... I'm sorry," he apologised, moving to leave._

_"No! Wait," I called out._

_He stopped, halfway between the door and my bed._

_"What?" he asked. I immediately hated myself - he was more hurt then he had earlier let on._

_I walked up behind him, turned him around, and bent down to kiss him. Forcefully. But I wasn't to strong for him, because he met my challenge head on. His hand reached up and grabbed my hair, pulling me closer to him. I trailed my tongue along his lower lip, asking for entrance._

_But I didn't get it that time._

_"Let's... just take things a little slower. This is my first relationship," Near admitted._

_"Yeah, mine too. But for a first timer, you're a bloody good kisser, Near," I smiled._

_"I could say the same to you. And it's Nate by the way."_

_I felt ecstatic. He'd just told me his real name!_

_"Mihael," I said softly._

_He smiled up at me, and turned to leave._

_"Where are you going?" I asked._

_"We're going to be late for dinner," he replied, surprised that I had forgotten._

_"Oh yeah..." I chuckled._

Remembering now how scared I was about the truth, I laugh. It was so ridiculous. I can't picture my life now without Near with me.

"What's so funny?" Near asks when I meet up with him in the hallway. I was still dwelling on our first kiss.

"I was just remembering the first time you kissed me..."

"Hmm. I don't get what so funny about it," he says, a little puzzled.

"Don't worry then," I dismiss it, and we head down to the classroom. My hand brushes his, and he squeezes it briefly.

During our lunch break, Near stays in class to do some extra studying. I can't be bothered to, and while I miss him, I know that it won't do us any good to be together outside anyway, because there won't be anyway for us to be... together like that. Not out in the open.

A lot of kids at Wammy's play outside during lunch. There are some of us that don't, like Near, but those that do often play around near the gates. There is a hopscotch game drawn up around there, a basketball ring, and a nice big oak tree that I like to climb up to get away from the world.

This is where I am right now.

It's so high up here... I feel almost like a bird. When I'm up here I can do anything I want to. My dreams seem so much more possible. Everything is so different. More enhanced. So naturally, when I'm up here and I fantasize about Near I can get a little carried away. Okay, maybe more then a little, but we won't go there.

I've never taken Near up here. I've thought about it, but as much as I love him, this is my special place. A place where my hope is born. A place where I can get away, where I reflect on everything.

For some reason, I'm the only person who climbs this tree. Everyone stays clear of it, like it's some kind of bad omen. I don't understand this. It's a wonderful place. I mean, don't take me wrong, I'm glad that they do because it means I get it all to myself but I still don't understand it.

Suddenly, the noise below picks up. I peer through the leaves (I'm actually quite high up) and look down. There is a crowd of kids all around the gates. Strange. I find the gates very uninteresting.

But, not wanting to miss what all the fuss is about, I climb down the tree and try to squeeze past a bunch of kids.

"What's going on?" I ask the nearest one, who turns out to be a brunette girl named Kirsty.

"There's a new kid," She explains to me, then runs off to try and get in from a different angle.

A new kid? We haven't had one of those for a while.

I continue to push past kids. A couple have a go at me, but I ignore them and go to get a look at the new guy.

I arrive just at the front, and when I see him.

The kid is odd. Really. He has no fashion sense whatsoever. He wears a striped shirt, with orange goggles around his eyes. He has blue jeans on, and wears black gloves. He has brown hair. A total mismatch.

He's really weird, but for some reason the style suits him. I don't know why.

The gates creak open, and he steps inside.

"I am expected," is all he says.

"Who are you?" I growl a little. To be honest, I'm a little shocked. I'm not usually hostile.

"My name is Matt." The kid shrugs.

* * *

**I hope that was alright for the first chapter guys! **

**Oh yeah, the whole story is going to be written in Mello's perspective. Sorry if this disappoints you!**

**I might have a couple of bits in there that are Matt or Near, but I'm pretty sure that the story will stay with Mello. He is the central piece in this story after all.**

**If I get enough reviews from people saying they want it, I might add in a couple of Mello's tree fantasies. But they won't be too bad I promise. There shall be no lemons in this story. A few almost ones perhaps, but no actual lemons.**

**Please please please review! This is my first gay fanfic and I would like to know how you think I went! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks you for reviewing guys! I'm a little more confident with this chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Dude, I'm not that awesome.**

* * *

_Chapter Two: Irritation_

"Matt, you've arrived!" Rodger appears and makes his way through the crowd.

"Who the hell is he?" I ask Rodger. I don't know why I'm like this. I usually make an effort to be nice towards new comers.

"That is Matt. He's going to be staying long term, just like you Mello."

For some reason, I don't like Matt. There's something about him that... repels me. I want to avoid him. Like I instinctively know he's bad news.

But these feelings... they're completely irrational. I don't know Matt - hell, he's only just arrived. There could be more to him then what I'm sensing.

"Mello... Matt is going to need a room. Everyone else apart from you and Near are already sharing. Would you mind if Matt shares with you?" Rodger asks suddenly.

The idea frightens me. For one thing, Near usually sleeps in my room. If I have to share, does that mean Near and I would have to come clean? He wouldn't agree to that. Well the only other option would be that we sleep alone. But I don't like that idea. I've spent the last six months sleeping with Near - to have to stop would drive me totally crazy.

Rodger was still waiting for an answer. Everyone was looking at me like it was obvious.

"Yeah... whatever," I mutter.

"Good. Well, show him the way."

"Follow me," I mumble. Matt grabs his bags and we work through the crowd. Everyone makes way for us. They seem almost... scared. Of _me_? My face must look kind of fierce or something.

We arrive at the dorm. I clear my stuff off the spare bed and apologize.

"Sorry its so messy."

"It's alright. You didn't know I was coming," Matt dismisses it.

He throws down his bag and pulls something out of his pocket. It's a Nintendo DS lite. He sits down and starts playing it.

I snort. "So you're a nerd. Anything else you'd like to add?"

He ignores me, and keeps playing.

"Whatever," I mutter, and leave for Near's room.

When I get there, Near is sitting on his bed studying. His face lights up as soon as I walk in.

"Hey, Mello," he says a little seductively.

"We need to talk," I respond seriously.

Near catches on immediately. "What's wrong?"

I sit on the edge of his bed, and he moves closer and snuggles against me.

"There's a new kid," I begin.

"Matt, I heard. What's so bad about that?"

"Rodger says that he has to share with me."

Near blinks, a little shocked. "What?"

"Yeah. That's what I thought."

Near is quiet for a moment.

"What does this mean for us?"

"Well I guess we can... come clean... or... spend less time together," I explain sadly.

"No," Near says fiercely, and hugs me tight. I rest my head on top of his. His disapproval of that suggestion was worse then I thought. I play with his beautiful, snowy white hair.

"So we come clean?"

"No..." Near thinks for a moment. "You can always come sleep in here. _I_ don't have to share with anyone."

"But what do we tell Matt?"

"Tell him your going out studying. If he's anything like the others in this place, he'll buy it."

"I never knew you could be so cunning," I say, and smile at my boyfriend.

"I can be extremely cunning when I have good reason to be," Near says and pulls me down into the bed. Our lips meet and I forget all about Matt, about having to share a room with him, about _everything_... except Near. How could I forget him when we were together like this?

That night, Near and I had decided to spend the night on our own, and give Matt time to settle. It was around 11pm, and Matt was _still_ playing on his Nintendo. To be honest, the noise from it was keeping me awake.

"Can you turn that down or plug some earphones in something?" I grumble.

"Nope." His lips pop on the 'p'

I groan, and roll over to face the wall, covering my ears with my pillow. But that doesn't help, because the light from his DS is glowing on my wall.

"How about you change the brightness on your screen?" I suggest.

"I can't do that. You can only do that on the Home Menu, and I'm in the middle of a gym battle right now."

"Your playing _Pokémon_?"  
"What's so bad about that?" Matt asks, getting all defensive now. "You've already made it clear that I'm a nerd. I like Pokémon."

I snort.

"Which game are you playing, anyway?" I ask, curious.

"Platinum. But I own all the others as well, including the original gameboy games."

"I used to have most of them. But I could never find Leaf Green..."

Yes. I used to be into Pokémon. But that was when I was, like, seven. I'm thirteen now. I've grown up. Besides, when I came to Wammy's when I was nine, I learnt about how great my chances were of becoming the next L. Not that it really mattered to much, but it was nice to know. And of course, I met Near.

"You don't seem like someone who would be into Pokémon that much," Matt observes.

"I'm not anymore. But I used to be..."

"Hmph."

Neither of us say anything for a bit.

"Who are you battling anyway?" I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

"Candice."

"The Snowpoint Gym Leader? She's an ice type girl, isn't she?"

"Yep. I'm kicking her ass with just my Infernape."

"Fair enough." I didn't really need to know that, but oh well.

"It's a level 75 y'know."

"Matt, remember I said that I _used_ to be into Pokémon. I don't need all the details about your game," I snap, a little exasperated. Would he ever shut up?

Apparently so, because he stayed quiet from then on. If I didn't still hear the music going, I would've thought that he was asleep.

Finally, after what seems like hours, he closes off his game and turns to face the other wall.

"Mello?" he mumbles drowzily.

"Yeah?"

"Can you clean this side up a little bit more tomorrow? I want to be able to unpack my stuff."

The nerve! But I decide to go along with it anyway, I need to butter him up a little so that when I start disappearing for my 'study sessions', he doesn't say anything.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," I mumble, before slipping into the darkness.

I clean up my mess the following morning. For the first time at this orphanage I actually have to start using the wardrobe. I discuss this with Near later, but he says that its probably a good thing. I am thirteen after all. No sympathy, even from my boyfriend! What is this world coming to?

During lunch, I decide to sit in the tree again.

I climb up the branches quickly, because I have been doing this for years and I know my way up them now. If someone dared me to, I could probably do it with my eyes shut. But I don't think Near would approve of me putting myself in danger like that.

When I get up to my favourite spot, I nestle in and pull out my lunch.

Something that sounds like tapping grabs my attention. I look over opposite me, and there I see Matt.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I snarl.

"It's as good a place as any," he shrugs.

"Then if it's as good as any other place then go find somewhere else!"

"No, I like it here. It's a good place to get away from all those crowds." At this, he looks down below us.

"Listen, nerdy boy, this is _my_ place. I found it first. Get lost!"

"There's enough room in here for the two of us. In fact, the whole orphanage could fit up here if they tried," Matt points out.

"I don't care. I was here first. I was _born_ first. That gives me more rights to the tree then you do."

"That makes no sense. The tree doesn't belong to either of us. Besides, why do you care so much if I'm up here too?"

"Maybe I just don't want to be up here with you, did you ever think about that?" I growl, before what I actually said settles in. Was I seriously just that friggin' mean?

I look over. His face is all crumpled, like a kid who just dropped his favourite flavour of ice-cream.

"Matt... Matt I-"

"I get it. You don't like me. Whatever," he mumbles, and scampers down the tree and across the courtyard before I can stop him.

"Fuck!" I swear angrily.

"I don't know what to do, Near," I whimper later that night. I'd been avoiding Matt all day.

"Shh..." He hushes, stroking my hair and cradling me in his arms.

"I was.. I was so hor-rible to him."

"He was annoying you, sometimes it happens."

"But he's new! He doesn't even have any proper friends here yet. And I wanted to be nice, I just..."

"There's not much you can do about it now, Mello. Calm down. He's probably forgotten about it."

"I doubt it," I mumble, and lean into his chest more. Near hugs me closer. I look up at him, and he wipes the tears away from my cheeks and kisses me. His lips are soft and slightly hesitant - I guess he doesn't want to get to carried away tonight. That doesn't mean that I don't want to though.

I kiss him fiercer - probably bruising his lips -, trying to express everything I need and want from him in this one simple gesture.

He leans in for a moment, perhaps a lapse in concentration, but then pulls back.

"Not now. Not when you're like this. Remember the last time we had sex while you were angry and miserable? I came away with swollen lips and a giant hickey that meant I had to pretend to be sick for several days to protect our secret," Near points out.

"No one said you had to do that. We could've just... come out of the closet?"

"I told you we-"

"I know, I know. They'll see it as a threat. Who cares? Theres only one thing I care about here, and that is _you_. Everything will just have to wait."

Near blushes a little.

"I'm glad that you think about me so, but if you really love me then you will respect my wishes," He murmurs. And to prove his point, he kisses me passionately.

"Mmmm," I groan when he moves away again. "You drive a hard bargain. _Fine_."

"Thank you," and he pulls back the covers and hops in. "Are you coming?"

"I thought you said..."

"I said no _sex_. You can still sleep here. But clothes stay on," he warns me, holding up his finger.

"Whatever." I hop in and snuggle close to him, and he wraps his arms around me.

The next morning, I try and sneak back into my room and change into different clothes. I tiptoe, because I don't want Matt to wake up and start asking questions. Or worse, start yelling at me.

"I know, you know." I whirl around towards Matt's bed. He was lying there, his eyes closed. Slowly, a sly smile spreads onto his face.

"Know what?" I ask skeptically, but I figure what he means.

"You and Near. You make it very obvious to people who have eyes."  
"Everyone has eyes," I say bluntly.

"Okay, to people who actually _use_ them then."

"_You're_ not using them. Yours are closed."

"Details, details. The point is, I know your little secret. You're gay. With Near."

"This would be a bad time to admit your homophobic, Matt."

"I never said that." He opens his eyes now, and sits up on the edge of the bed. "I might even be gay myself."

I instinctively cringe back.

"Sheesh, now who's homophobic? I was joking you know." He glares a little.

"I-I'm sorry. Old habits die hard."

Matt turns his head questioningly. I wave my hand to dismiss it.

"Please just... don't tell anyone. Please?" I almost plead.

"Whatever. But you owe me, Mello."

"What do you want?" I ask nervously.

"I'll think of something," He says creepily, flashing an evil grin at me.

I shudder lightly, and pull off my shirt to get changed.

* * *

**If you guys are wondering, Mello being all upset about getting angry is a part of the story. It has something to do with the changes that are coming during the story at some point. So please don't review saying "that person isn't meant to act like that". It's a part of the plot-line.**

**Aaaanyyyywaaaaaay :D**

**Matt knows! Well he isn't third in line to L for nothing...**

**I'm going to make a back story (prior Wammy's) for Mello, and I've started dropping little hints in this one.**

**Hope this was an okay chapter :) Sorry for the lack of bromanceness but this chapter was supposed to be about Matt and Mello getting to know each other to some degree. I will try and put some more MelloxNear moments in the next one! **

****YOU MIGHT WANNA READ THIS: I must say that my holidays begin soon! And therefore, this story will not be updated for a few months (Until late January or early February 2013). Yes, that long, because unfortunately I have no internet connection at home and also, it is Christmas and New Year and my family can get very busy around this time. So please be patient with me! I promise that I will start updating as soon as I can. And when I do start updating again, there will probably be HEAPS of chapters being uploaded in one hit. PLEASE PLEASE be patient. I look forward to updating for you all in the new year! :D****

**Please review guys! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm baackkk! Temporarily anyway. About bloody time too. Having no internet was really annoying :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. I never will (sadly).**

* * *

_Chapter Three: Unsure_

When I tell Near that Matt knows our secret, for some reason he doesn't seem all that concerned.

"If he said he'd keep it a secret, then we shouldn't have to worry," he reasons.

"Yes but-"

"We weren't going to be able to keep it a secret forever anyway."

"Near, you're the one who said no one should know," I argue.

"Yes, that's true… but something told me trying to hide it from Matt wasn't going to work. And not only that, I looked at the results from the latest test we took - Matt came third, after we tied first."

"What?!" I exclaim. "He… what?"

Near nods. "Anyone within the top 5 in this place would be able to figure out that we're a couple if they were in Matt's position."

I feel surprise hit me and instantly feel the blood rising to my cheeks.

"Why are you blushing?" Near asks, confused.

I smile shyly. "That's the first time you've said outright, 'We're a couple.' It sounded… good. I like it the way you say it."

In response to that, he wraps his arms around my shoulders and kisses me passionately.

The next morning, I sneak back into my room. Even though Matt knows the truth, I still can't break the habit of having to watch my back.

"Have fun?" Matt asks just as I enter.

I ignore that. "Do you ever sleep?"

He shrugs. "Not often. Only about five hours a night."

"Hmph," I grumble.

"You seem grumpy this morning," he observes.

"I was fine before. Maybe it's because you annoy me so much," I snap, but regret it instantly. Matt's face shows a little pain before he controls himself.

"I see." is all he says.

"Matt…" I don't know why his pain hurts me like this. "I… I'm sorry. Okay? I need to think before I speak, I know."

"I don't mind if you're being honest. You'd be the only one," he mutters.

"That's it… I'm not being honest. I just say these things without thinking. I don't know why they come out… or why I usually snap with you… or why when you seem hurt I-" I cut myself off before I say something I may regret. What was I thinking? Why does it matter so much to me if Matt is hurt? More specifically, why does it matter so much more if _I'm_ the reason he feels hurt? Why was the end of that sentence going to be 'When you seem hurt, I hurt too'? This is crazy. I have a boyfriend for god's sake!

"Mello? When I seem hurt you what?" Matt asks.

"It doesn't matter," I mumble.

I don't think Matt really believes me but he lets it go anyway. He sighs.

"I'm sorry if I annoy you," he apologises.

"Meh, it really doesn't bug me _that_ much. I just have a habit of getting worked up around you."

"I wonder why that is?" He asks, leaning forward. His eyes are big and round, and for some reason, very attractive.

_Damn, it Mello! What are you saying?_

But I wouldn't listen to myself. I moved over and sat on the end of his bed. Something about his eyes… they were almost hypnotising.

"Mello?" He asked.

"Mmm?" I respond, not really paying much attention.

He leans a little closer. "What are you doing?"

"I have no idea," I murmur.

"I _am _gay you know…" he whispers.

For some reason, that snaps me out of it.

"What the fuck?" I hiss, leaping off the bed.

"Mello?"

"What the fuck _was _that?" I demand.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbles.

"Damn it. Damn it all." I punch the wall. My hand throbs but I don't care.

"Mello, stop, please!" Matt pleads.

I can't say anything. I just leave.

When I exit the room, I find Near coming out of his.

"Mello, are you okay? I heard a thud against the wall…" He trails off as he sees me holding my fist. "What happened to your hand? Did you punch the wall or something?"

"It's none of your business," I growl.

"Mello, I'm your boyfriend. I'm concerned for you-"

"Stay the fuck out of it, Nate!"

I storm down the corridor, not bothering to look back to see how my words affected him.

I've been sulking up in my tree for around an hour. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm not stupid, I know the signs. I'd been about to _kiss_ Matt. Why? I love Near. Don't I? Surely it wasn't possible for me to be in love with more then one person at a time. Especially Matt. I barely knew him! All I knew about him was that he was a gaming freak, third in line to L and extremely perceptive.

My thoughts are interrupted by rustling branches. I look down and who do I see scampering up the tree? None other than the one I was puzzling over.

"I knew I'd find you up here," Matt says triumphantly.

"Go away," I growl. "I told you that this is _my_ tree, and I'm not sharing."

"I know."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I need to talk to you."

"The _hell_ you do!"

"You might not think so but I do," he says stubbornly, and comes to a stop just in front of me.

I scowl at him. "You have one minute before I push you out of the tree. It's up to you how you use it. And up to me whether I pay attention."

"Fine. I probably don't need very long any way." He crosses his arms. "You were about to kiss me."

"I was not!" I growl menacingly through clenched teeth.

"Mello I'm not an idiot. Near and I were talking-"

"You _told_ him?!" I screech in disbelief.

"Calm down lover-boy I didn't tell him you were about to kiss me if that's what you were worried about. We were just talking about how strangely you were acting. He was worried because you snapped at him. And you used his real name out in the corridor where anyone could've heard."

Shit. Had I really been that careless?  
"He knew that you usually wouldn't have done that, and came in to ask me what was wrong. I made something up about… well what I actually told him alludes me at the moment, but he seemed to buy it," Matt continues.

That didn't seem like the Near I knew. He would've at least had some doubts. Matt must have to be a superb liar.

"Anyway, he asked if I knew where you'd gone, and I said I had a hunch. He wanted to know where, but I said that'd I go talk to you first. Mello, he's worried about you and frankly, so am I."

"It's got nothing to do with you," I grumble, unable to meet his eyes.

"That's a load of bullshit. It clearly does. I'm guessing it has to do with the fact you almost kissed me earlier."

"It doesn't! I didn't! I mean… ugh!" I bury my head in my hands.

"Well that pretty much settles it. Mello if you like me then why don't you just say it?"

Now this just infuriates me.

"You seriously think I'd like a fucking bastard like you? I have a god damn boyfriend, Matt! How arrogant are you to assume that?! I love Near. Not you."

"Now you're just overreacting. You know for a genius you can be really blind."

"I know exactly how I feel," I growl.

"Then you obviously need someone to show you then." And before I can object or do anything to stop him, Matt's lips are on mine.

They start soft, and slow, but then they start moving. Attacking would probably fit better. He grabs my hair and pulls me close.

The surprise hasn't worn off yet. I'm stuck like a statue, not feeling, not moving just sitting helpless as a million thoughts buzz through my mind. All the while Matt's disconcertingly warm lips are trying to get a response out of mine.

And then it fully registers. Matt is kissing me. Forcefully. What the _fuck_?

I push him away angrily. He stumbles back, and has to grab onto a branch to stop himself falling out.

"What the hell was that for?" I yell. "You have no right to just go around kissing me like that!"  
"I was trying to show you that you love me too. And I know you do. You just won't admit it to yourself," he says, wiping his mouth.

"You can't just assume that and kiss me!"

"Even if I did kiss you, that doesn't mean you have the right to push me when we're in a tree. I could've fallen out and hurt myself!" He protests.

"I told you, you had a minute before I pushed you out of the tree. Yours was up."

Matt sighs.

"I'm leaving. You are the most obnoxious person I've ever met!" I hiss.

I creep back into Near's room.

"Mello!" he exclaims. "Are you alright?"

"Fine. I need to stay here tonight. In fact, I might need to move in here permanently."

"Had a fight with Matt?"

"You could say that." I pause, not sure whether to tell him or not. _Screw it_, I decide. _Matt brought this on himself. _"He kissed me."

"He what?!" Near raises his eyebrows in disbelief and his tone goes up an octave.

"Yeah."

"And what did you do about it?" Near demands.

"Well…"

"Hmm?"

"I pushed him. He nearly fell out of the tree."

"You guys were in a tree?"

"That's not the main problem, Near!" I protest.

"Yes, you can stay here. I no longer trust having you in the same room as that bastard. Who knows what he might do to you?"

I climb into his bed, and snuggle into his embrace.

I was more worried about what _I_ might do to Matt, rather then what he would to me.

* * *

**And there's the end of another chapter! Mello is having doubting thoughts about Matt now. And in case you're all hoping, I'm sorry to say that this story will not have a happy ending for Mello and Near. It will end around when the Mello and Near arc of the story began, and they weren't exactly friendly with each other then sooo… yeah.**

**Please review! This shouldn't be the only chapter being uploaded today **:)


	4. Chapter 4

**Do you people remember when I said that there could possibly be a few chapters in Near or Matt's perspective? Weellll that's what's happening for this one! This chapter is going to be written in Matt's perspective.**

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish it were true, I don't own Death Note.**

* * *

_Chapter Four: Threat_

Even if I leave you now

And it breaks my heart

Even if I'm not around

I won't give in

I can't give out

On this love

_- This Love, The Veronicas_

Mello hasn't come in yet. I'd guessed that he'd be staying with Near tonight. I'd probably pissed him off bad.

Well it wasn't my fault he was so blind. He clearly needed to be _shown_ his feelings. I run my fingers over my lips for the tenth time in the last five minutes.

I don't know when I fell in love with Mello. It was very gradual, and I mean _very_ gradual. I didn't actually realise until he nearly kissed me earlier. I guess that's the way it works sometimes.

I glance at the clock. It's 23:19. I should probably go to sleep soon, but I don't really feel like it.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

"Mello, if that's you, you know you don't have to knock," I call.

The door opens. It's not Mello. It's Near.

"Ah." I look down.

"Mello told me what happened," he says.

"Yeah, I figured as much. Where is he, anyway?"

"He's asleep in my room."

I nod, and reach for my gameboy.

"Look I'm here to warn you. Don't _ever_ touch him against his will again. Mello is _my_ boyfriend. It's time you realised that," Near threatens.

"Or what?" I challenge.

"Or I'll break your jaw."

"Mello'd probably do that anyway," I point out.

"Then how 'bout your neck?"

"Wow. Who knew that for a kid you could be so threatening?"

"I'm only one year younger than you, and I'm perfectly capable of damaging you irreparably." He turned to leave.

"Hey," I call.

"What?" He turns back to face me.

"I know he's in love with you."

"Oh good," Near says sarcastically.

"But he's in love with me too. He just can't see it yet."

Near growls.

I try a different tactic. "You know, you're first in line to becoming the next L."

"I don't care about that," he says stiffly.

"Oh, I can see that you do. But that's forget that part for a minute. You're in line to becoming the next L. Mello is second. Given that, I don't think he's going to catch up anytime soon. If you become L, you won't be able to continue your relationship with him."

"Why ever not?" he asks, confused.

"Think about it! You'll be in hiding, making sure no one knows who you are. Mello's just a liability. Not only that, what kind of life would you rather he have? One where he's free, or one where he's bound to you, living in the shadows? Would you rather he was able to have a life? Seriously Near. How much do you really love him?"

I think I've stumped him. He seems to consider this for a moment.

"It's not my place to decide his future for him," he says finally. "If he wants to leave, I won't stop him." But I can see that he's not entirely sure.

I shrug. "It's up to you. But let me tell you something. I like your boyfriend, Near. He's a good guy. I only put that proposition forward because I have his best interests at heart."

"I do too," Near argues.

"You might think you do. But is your love for him clouding your judgement? Are your emotions getting in the way?"

He considers that as well.

"Goodbye Matt," he says, and leaves the room. I smirk. That just proves it.

I decide to give Mello some space today, and leave the tree alone. But I do walk past it occasionally and look up. He hasn't been there when I've looked.

I was in a Calculus class that afternoon when Rodger asked to speak with me. We went through to his office.

"What's up?" I ask.

"I've had some kids come in and tell me they saw Mello push you in the tree yesterday. Is this true?" he asks sternly.

I didn't remember anybody around the tree when I went up there. Maybe they'd gathered around eventually.

But no matter how bad it was, I didn't want to get Mello into trouble.

"No," I denied. "He didn't."

"Matt. If he's threatening you or something like that…"

"He's not threatening me! Honestly, Mello didn't push me yesterday!"

Rodger grimaces.

"Well, if you have any problems with him and you're feeling unsafe, you can always request to change rooms."

"I'm fine, thank you," I grumble. "Is that all?"

He nods. I leave the room.

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**Sorry for the very short chapter. I couldn't really continue on in Matt's perspective.**

**Please review!**


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